Shona Neff

I recently had a conversation with a fellow middle-aged introvert . . . she recently had a revelation about dating. That, in turn, provided me a similar revelation. What I’m about to share has been something, that for years, neither she nor I understood about ourselves. We though we were just weird.

Her Story

In high school my friend moved around a lot, but landed in a high-school where she quickly caught the attention of the star athlete, and “big-man-on-campus”. He made it clear he was smitten with her, and she was quite taken with him. Not too long into their “boyfriend/girlfriend” days, he introduced her to his friends and shortly thereafter, he broke up with her. As a melancholy introvert, she didn’t understand and was deeply hurt . . . until recently when I posted the following on my Facebook page:

Introvert Problem #76 – People sometimes mistake you as an extrovert because you can be so outgoing

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How can opposite personalities be similar? I know it sounds weird, but that’s exactly how it works. Let’s start with the choleric and phlegmatic personalities.

Choleric and Phlegmatic

For those of you familiar with the choleric personality you’ll remember that this is the most intense of the four personality types. They bring an unseen force when they inter a room . . .  what kind of force depends on if they are in a good mood (positive) or bad mood (negative). You never know what to expect from the unseen energy of a choleric. They are go-getters who thrive on accomplishment. They also enjoy recognition for the many things they accomplish. (more…)

Once upon a time, a phlegmatic/sanguine and a choleric/melancholy planned a “Girls’ Day Out.”  Well, actually it was just last weekend and the phlegmatic/sanguine was me, and the choleric/melancholy was my friend, CM. Oh my, what a hilarious study of our two personality blends. I wish you all could have been “flies on the wall”, because it was quite entertaining. But I’ll do my best to fill you in on all the laughs.

The Planning

Getting a phlegmatic and choleric to take time for a social event can be daunting. Phlegmatics are procrastinators who are terrible about making plans – it is so much easier to stay home and just “be”. Combine that with a mission-minded choleric who wears several professional hats and is always marching along the path of practicality, and a day of girly fun rarely materializes between the two. Well, finally after 5 years of threatening (has it really been THAT long?…maybe just a year), CM and I got intentional and our day of shopping actually happened. (more…)

It’s pretty evident that our system (probably ANY political system for that matter) has it’s share of sheep and wolves as discussed in the first two posts in this series. However, what happens when political SHEPHERDS burst onto the scene?

What exactly IS a shepherd? According to dictionary.com it is one who protects and guides. I’d like to also add a term I saw floating around the Internet: keeps the flock together. So, armed with a definition let’s see what we can learn about a political shepherd. (more…)

Political sheep were the focus of my last post. Today, we are looking at political wolves. Now, to be honest, if you took a cross-section of American voters and non-voters, much of who someone “considers” a wolf is based on one’s ideology or party affiliations. Despite having strong views my goal is not to turn this into a political forum, but rather share with you unbiased information about personalities that you can use as a tool to better understand those who would be our leaders.

So, what, exactly is the definition of a “wolf”? Well, as one would expect, I got a lot of the animal description such as “canine” and “large dog,” but obviously that isn’t exactly what I was looking for even though I giggled at the many unflattering canine traits that fit some of our current leaders. However, when they got into wolf behavior. . . . I hit the jackpot!! Here we go into some material we can really sink our teeth into: (more…)

Oh yes I DID!….and WHY? Personalities are great tool for understanding politicians and identifying statesmen.

OK, so I may loose some followers with this series . . . after all, isn’t politics one of those subjects that momma told us to stay away from along with religion and finances? News flash, I don’t stay away from any of those topics when personalities are involved. Well, if you’ll hang with me, my intent is NOT to disparage one side or the other, but to provide (as best as I can) unbiased insights into the political world using personalities.

Before jumping into this topic, let me share what made me decide to tackle it in the first place. I’ve been watching a political mini series and found it intriguing. It depicts the seedier side of political life, but we all know there are good guys and bad guys in all governments…and our definitions of good and bad may vary, but that is another post for a different website. My interest swirls around personalities. Anyhow, after watching and analyzing season one, I came up with three categories for those claiming to lead our country. Some of you may not agree with my assessment, but there is much to be learned from looking at the personality breakdown in each category. So, with that, let’s jump in. (more…)

Everyone LOVES a party . . . right? Well, not always. Some personalities would rather pass on the party scene full of people and enjoy a less chaotic celebration.

My family just celebrated a cluster of birthdays which provided a great example for this topic. Let’s start with my mother who just celebrated her 80th birthday. It was a nice celebration that provided me great insights into birthday party personalities.

My sister is sanguine and LOVES all sorts of gatherings, social events, and parties. She was instrumental in plotting and planning the festivities. That makes sense because sanguine personalities are made for fun . . . and planning fun is super FUN for them! Being spontaneous people, they consider the element of surprise a true spice of life. Sis suggested a SURPRISE party for Mom. However, our mom is melancholy and doesn’t do “unplanned” very well. I suggested to my sister (who lives out of state) that rather than too much surprise, that she, at the very least, let Mom know that she planned to visit around the time of the birthday and then surprise her with the party. That way, Mom could have a visit on her calendar which allowed Mom to plan ahead while still allowing for the surprise party. (more…)

Personalities and fashion? YES!…they go together like a hand and a glove. Did you know it is possible to identify someone’s personality by just taking a good look at them? Clothing can be a pretty big indicator.

In my last fashion post I just picked clothes that typified the personality look I was going for. However, this time, I chose a theme to show how differently each personality dresses for the same situation. I chose an afternoon out on the town as the backdrop for my choices….maybe lunch, followed by an afternoon at the museum, or shopping with a friend. Thanks to my “go-to” girl, Shilpa, and her associate, Brooke, who helped me find rockin’ styles from the Young Contemporary/Edge department from the Dillards located in the Winrock Center (Albuquerque, NM).

Sanguine

Here is me in the sanguine look. Bright, colorful, and FUN!  I really love this outfit, but as a phlegmatic personality you probably won’t see me frolicking around town in this. It’s a little TOO bright for me, but there are many sanguine women who would wear this outfit around town and feel quite comfortable. They are certain to turn heads in the eye-catching outfit . . . and that is just what a sanguine loves: to be noticed.

(Jacket and dress – Chelsea & Violet, Boots – Steve Madden (from the Dillards shoe department that I now own, yay,  Purse – from a very sanguine shelf in the Dillards accessory department.) (more…)

“Some people’s personalities are so compelling that they command attention.” Laura Linney

It’s true! Some people stand out while others are a quiet presence in the world.

“Everyone shines, given the right lighting.” Susan Cain

For some personalities, the lighting is more subdued, but just as piercing.

Today’s post finishes out the series of 10 Things You Need to Know About Personalities.

Every person born has a personality. For those who believe in the Divine Creator, people were made in His image, and He doesn’t make junk. That’s why I know everyone has a personality and each of us has value and is wonderful no matter what personality we are blessed with. Whether you are one of the extroverted gems (sanguine or choleric) or are more of an introverted treasure (melancholy or phlegmatic), YOU  ROCK! (more…)

My last post splashed paint on a broad canvas that told the story of the outgoing and often boisterous extrovert. Today we are going to use a paintbrush to create a portrait of the introverts of the world. Extroverts tend to steal the spotlight on the world’s stage, but without introverts, there would be no show. So, let’s have a look at the #9 on the list of 10 Things You Need to Know About Personalities.

The melancholy and phlegmatic are the two introverted personalities. (more…)