TMI (too much information). No follow through. Big talk, little action. Serenity NOW!
Do those descriptors ring familiar? A friend, family member, or perhaps an annoying co-worker? Count yourself blessed if these are not a part of your everyday existence. However, if you are frustrated on a daily basis by anything on that list, take heart . . . you just need to understand the sanguine in your life. Understanding leads to surviving.
If you are sanguine reading this, please don’t be offended, maybe there is something here for you to learn. First, may I say that sanguine personalities are delightful and they light up a often gloomy world. However, to varying degrees, many sanguines will operate in a weaknesses, thus providing challenges to those who know them best. Let’s take a look and see if we can help survive when this personality goes “over-the-top”.
Chit Chat Chatty
We’ve all encounter someone who talks too much. Where IS that “off” button!! The over-the-top talking sanguine dominates conversations and can monopolize social situations. It isn’t an issue when they are funny and engaging, but if they are NOT either of those, they will start turning people off if enough time passes. Not everyone needs the spotlight the sanguine, but most everyone likes to contribute to a conversation, and sometimes sanguine talkers don’t allow others to join in. Now, when a sanguine is totally obnoxious and spews inappropriate words (or TMI), that is hard to take even on short time! Such scenarios are uncomfortable for those who want to be polite, but are also desperate to escape.
Depending on how well you know the overly loquacious sanguine, you may be in a position to talk to them about his or her over-charged mouth or inappropriate content. If you don’t know the offender well, but an unexpected opportunity to lovingly share how the “talkative” sanguine could be better received by others, you may be the salt and light they need to improve their social presence. If your only option is to limit YOUR exposure to them, do it, but don’t hate them or talk badly about them. Just understand that these personalities are talkers who tend to love the spotlight and don’t take it personally. Oh, one last bit of advice…if the chit chatty sanguine is a gossip, protect yourself by not sharing any information you don’t want splashed all over the community.
All Talk, No Action
Some sanguine personalities struggle with follow through. If this is someone close to you, maybe you have been affected. Big plans are made for an event, but they never materialize. Promises are made, promises are broken. It may be something small like a pre-arranged lunch date that is never mentioned again . . . or, worse yet, a sanguine no show. This happens for several reasons.
Sanguines are notorious for over-extending themselves. It’s not unusual for a sanguine to “double-book”. When they do, they go with the funnest date because, after all, this personality is all about fun. Another reason for inaction happens because they are not the best time keepers. Time comes . . . times passes . . . scheduled plans fall by the wayside.
One last reason sanguine talk turns into no action is because talk is cheap in sanguine land. “I’ll call you for sure!” “Let’s plan on that weekend get-a-way!” “Oh, don’t worry, I’ll take care of that for you!” Before you know it, six months has passed and the phone hasn’t rung, the sanguine never mentions the weekend get-a-way again, and the deed you weren’t suppose to worry about goes undone. This is not unusual for a sanguine who is weak in the area of follow-through.
Do you have to accept it? No, you don’t, but you can understand it. Again, the relationship you have with the offending sanguine determines how much you involve yourself, but many relationships are lost or strained because many sanguines do these things to friends, family, and co-workers. In my own life, I counter these weaknesses by, first not taking it personally. Sure, a sanguine tends to follow through with those that are most important or fun for them, but when that isn’t me, I just limit my exposure to the “all talk, no action” phenomenon. I’m not surprised when it happens and, I choose to limit my dealings with such a sanguine. That removes the elements of expectation and surprise from MY life and helps me survive.
ME ME ME!!!
Yes, sanguine personalities have an emotional need to be accepted and have approval. Most are not shy about seeking it. Couple that with their need to be in the spotlight and, if they take it “0ver-the-top” it becomes quite tiring for those around them. “Isn’t my dress pretty?” “Listen to this hundredth story about how everyone doted on me because I’m so funny!” ” Let me tell you about my adventure at the bank when I…blah blah blah blah blah.”
OK, I’m not trying to be rude, but seriously, if you have even been on the receiving end, YOU KNOW what I’m talkin’ about! There are varying degrees of ME ME ME, but there are also extremes. Again, unless you have a deep relationship with such a sanguine, about all I can advise you to do is go into avoidance mode. But, never, never, never, disparage such a soul. Sometimes this depth of immaturity is brought on by something hurtful or great neglect in the offenders life. Other times, the person is just plain shallow and THAT prevents them from operating in the wonderful strengths of this personality.
The Balanced Sanguine
When a sanguine is not over-the-top, they are a delight to be around. They are gifted communicators, they are warm and will give you the shirt off their back, and they are just plain ‘ol fun to be around. There are many well-balanced sanguines making the world an enjoyable place. However, remember that, to varying degrees, you will run into sanguine people who are quite challenging and you just need to do your best by surviving in the most gracious manner you can muster.
©2013 Shona Neff