Girls’ Day Out with a Phlegmatic/Sanguine and Choleric/Melancholy!!

Once upon a time, a phlegmatic/sanguine and a choleric/melancholy planned a “Girls’ Day Out.”  Well, actually it was just last weekend and the phlegmatic/sanguine was me, and the choleric/melancholy was my friend, CM. Oh my, what a hilarious study of our two personality blends. I wish you all could have been “flies on the wall”, because it was quite entertaining. But I’ll do my best to fill you in on all the laughs.

girls day out

The Planning

Getting a phlegmatic and choleric to take time for a social event can be daunting. Phlegmatics are procrastinators who are terrible about making plans – it is so much easier to stay home and just “be”. Combine that with a mission-minded choleric who wears several professional hats and is always marching along the path of practicality, and a day of girly fun rarely materializes between the two. Well, finally after 5 years of threatening (has it really been THAT long?…maybe just a year), CM and I got intentional and our day of shopping actually happened.

First order of business: Who would drive? Well, CM always drives. She tells me it’s because her personal vehicle (she drives company cars most of the time) needs to be driven so it doesn’t waste away in her garage. However, being the personality mechanic that I am, I also know that choleric personalities need to always have SOME sense of control, so I let CM chauffeur me around when we have a girls’ days out. My inner phlegmatic is happy to go along for the ride and let my choleric girlfriend brave the traffic.

The Lunch

OK, here’s the scoop: phlegmatic personalities rarely insist where to have lunch. If they have any preference, it usually is food establishments they would rather avoid . . . and that doesn’t happen very often. Lunch was first on our girls’ day out agenda.

“Where would you like to eat?” CM started the process I usually dread.

“I don’t have any place in particular in mind. How about you?”

CM quickly jumped on the opportunity to pick. Much to my delight we ended up at Gabriel’s, a northern New Mexico gem. Yes, it’s a great eatery, but the choleric/melancholy of CM is what initiated her quick decision. Life is all about being practical for a choleric. Since CM and I both live in small towns north of Santa Fe, we have to drive 45 minutes to have a decent girls’ day out. Gabriel’s is half way between where we each live and where we wanted to go, Santa Fe. CM figured that by having lunch at this restaurant not only would we get great food, but once we hit Santa Fe, we’d be ready for shopping action. She was right. I was happy to go along for the ride, the food, and the fellowship.

The Agenda

I didn’t have an agenda other than to enjoy the day out with my friend. CM didn’t really have set plans, but yet she did. This is where the mission-minded choleric collided with the frugal, melancholy shopper…and I got caught in the crossfire. There wasn’t any ONE big thing CM need to do, but lots of little things. We stopped at a retail grocer to get 10 vitamin water drinks at $.69. (According to CM, she would have bought every one in the store if they had been $.50 because THAT is a good price). We stopped at a members’ club store to take advantage of a great price on string cheese. Then off to a health food store to pick up some sale fruit and vitamins. Along the way, we also stopped at a pharmacy so my friend could help me pick up some Negrita, a product that she uses on her hair and that she said I needed. (NOTE: I really DO like it now that I own some.)

It was not a bad day of hunting down healthy bargains. However, with each stop I got the melancholy low-down on how stores manipulate prices which makes consumers think they are getting better deals than they truly are. At least that what I think she was trying to explain. As the details whirled around me I just smiled and nodded while the information (which I’m sure was great) took up residence among confetti that constantly swirls in my phlegmatic head.

The Shopping

As part of our shopping we ended up at TJ Maxx just to look around. Oh my, did our personality differences shine bright. Always practical, CM cruised the store with a very discriminating eye. Me?…well, my sanguine side oohed and aahed over every bright and fun object. When I doted over something really cute, CM just didn’t “get it” and looked at me with a puzzled expression. However, understanding personalities, I just cracked up. By the end of our “maxxinista” shopping trip our cart was filled with a few goodies. We both chose some kitchen containers. CM liked them because they were practical. I liked them because they saved me energy in kitchen when it comes to storing leftovers. Similar likes for different reasons.

The Purchases

Choleric and melancholy personalities are practical and frugal. Phlegmatic and sanguine personalities enjoy things a little more, and the sanguine can be a money-spending machine. When it was time to check out, I had a much larger pile of purchases than my friend. I also had a brighter, more FUN things than CM. Pretty typical considering our differing personalities.

(Left, my fun pile. Right, CM’s practical pile)

As we stood in line waiting for an available cashier, I was captivated by all the impulse merchandise dancing before my eyes and chanting, “BUY ME, BUY ME!” I was tempted, but CM didn’t even give them a second look. She had accomplished her mission and didn’t want any more items. I was able to pass up all of strategically marketed items, and we proceeded to the sales counter.

I checked out first and had a jolly time chatting with my new friend, the cashier. A phlegmatic/sanguine blend is all about relationship. I happily finished while CM’s stepped up to pay for her selections: Choleric. All business. Ring up items. Pay for items. Cut and dry and DONE. Upon walking to the car, CM mentioned how differently the cashier responded to me than to her. “The cashier smiled more when she was checking you out. She got all business like when it was my turn.” Me, I’m warm and fuzzy. CM, she’s a robot.

The Parking Lot

Watching CM navigate a busy parking lot provided the biggest laugh of the day. As we cruised through looking for a place to park in front of T. J. Maxx, we passed a large SUV hauling a family. The backseat window, behind the driver, was rolled down and there was a teen-aged boy half hanging out waving his arms and being goofy.

“What is that idiot doing?!” scowled my classic choleric friend.

In a matter-of-fact, classic phlegmatic tone I chimed in, “Some people DO like to have fun, ya know.” We both busted up.

OK….you melancholy personalities reading this, do YOU have to park perfectly straight between the lines in a parking lot? Every time we parked, CM had me open my door to make sure she was parked straight. After about the fourth time, I decided an intervention was in order, and I refused to look. CM indulged my stubbornness, but I DID see her sneak a peek as we exited the car and headed into the store. I’m not so sure my intervention worked.

The Surprise.

Our last stop was at a store that requires employees to round up shopping carts. As we left the store CM and I were carrying a couple of items. Well, imagine my surprise when CM….the choleric/melancholy robot started flirting with the cart guy! Well, actually, he started it by batting his eye lashes at us. We figure he was looking for a cougar or a sugar momma, but CM played the game better than any giddy, high-school girl! I certainly wasn’t expecting that. He actually asked her for a date, but quickly lost interest when he heard she was married. My friend’s flirty foray just goes to show that any personality is capable of stepping out their personality zone. (I will say, I stayed in my personality zone . . . I was ready for him to go away. That isn’t a surprise)

The End

CM and I had such a fun girls’ day out. We look forward to the next time the stars line up and we go out for another day of lunch and shopping. We may be totally opposite personalities, but we sure have a good time together.

©2013 Shona Neff




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This entry was posted on Saturday, April 27th, 2013 at 2:34 pm and is filed under Personalities - Did You Know?, Personality Stories - Choleric, Personality Stories - Phlegmatic, The Personalities - Let's Learn!, Word for the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


4 Responses to “Girls’ Day Out with a Phlegmatic/Sanguine and Choleric/Melancholy!!”

  1. chinonye Says:

    Hi Shona!
    Happy new year to you and your family. I ve been an avid reader of your blog and any other blog(s) that involves temperament to the extent that I’m obsessed with it, lol. Ok, I kinda get confused about what my temperament is. I’m mostly quiet around people I don’t know but once I open up, I’m a goofy clown. You need to see the way I play with my sister, so hilarious! So I feel oh! I must be a phlegsan but then I can keep grudges then I think I must be melancholy but I’m not organized, serious or disciplined and procastinate like there’s no tommorow. I can be lazy too but when I make up my mind to do chores, I execute it perfectly. Did forget to mention I’m a pleaser and place peoples’ needs above mine?
    I feel I’m a melphleg, phlegmel, phlegchlor and phlegsan rolled in one! What do you think I am please? Sorry for rambling!

  2. admin Says:


    Thanks for stopping by. Sorry I haven’t responded sooner. It’s hard to tell exactly what personality blend you are from what you mention above. However, here is a link the personality profile I use to help people identify their personality blend. Maybe this will provide a good starting point for you. I hope so.

    I hope it works. If it doesn’t….google “Littauer personality profile”


  3. Lisa Says:

    it was funny you mentioned TJ Maxx as bright and fun objects.! Another thing i think that captures the S personality is variety and surprise. Never know what you will find in TJ Maxx! Love to shop there because of this!!

  4. admin Says:

    Yes, sanguines LOVE bright and fun things…not so much with the choleric/melancholy. I just had to laugh at my friend’s facial expression when I bought some of the things I did. She isn’t amused as many of the things my sanguine side loves. lol. And, for sure, TJ Maxx is a sanguine’s candy store!

    Thanks for stopping by!


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