Trouble is a Brewin’ – Part 2, The People Repeller

Controlling. Bossy. Intense. Prickly.

Do those words describe anyone you know? Maybe they epitomize a family member or co-worker . . . a friend or neighbor. Are there people in your life that make you feel like you constantly walk on egg shells? Or do you avoid certain conversations because their reactions leave you feeling inadequate or unsettled? If you answered YES to any of those questions, you may be involved with a choleric personality. Choleric people that do not effectively control the intense parts of their personalities often repel people, and this can lead to estranged relationships.

As with the other personalities, trouble is a brewin’ when the choleric does not reign in their weaknesses.

Control

The choleric personality is a natural leader. Leadership flows through their veins. They are quick thinkers and wired to get a job done. When this natural tendency to lead is not channeled properly it becomes a weakness and causes the choleric to become controlling.People are drawn to effective leaders, but a controlling person repels them. It is human nature not to see how our own weaknesses manifest themselves in our everyday lives, but this seems to be particularly difficult for the “get-it-done-at-all-costs” choleric.

To keep trouble from brewing cholerics need to realize that not everyone is as internally motivated as they tend to be. Not all people move at the speed of light to accomplish things. And, HEAVEN FORBID, a choleric is NOT always right. They ARE gifted problem solvers, but other people have natural traits that can solve problems from different angles that a choleric may fail to consider. When a choleric control things with an iron fist at home, at work, at school, at church, or in the community, he or she usually ends up repel those they need to be a peace with.

Intense

Oh my . . . have you ever been a tranquil room and a choleric in a bad mood enters? Instant intensity stirs in the air like kool-aid® powder. When manifest in a healthy way, this intensity gets things done and solves problems, however when it crosses the line into negativity it puts everyone on edge. That instantly repels people. One obvious way this intensity enters the atmosphere is by what I call the “scowl and growl.”

Choleric people scowl a lot. This is due in part because they always think ahead and concentrate on their next move and partly because, if they don’t like something, they make a face. Believe me, I know . . . there are two strong choleric personalities in my life. Most of the time they don’t realize they scowl, but face it, whereas a smile draws people in, a scowl makes people take a step back. And, if the scowl is intense enough, it sets people to running in the opposite direction. OK, now the growl: a choleric who has not reigned in their mode of communicating growls. They don’t ASK you do to things, they TELL you to do it with a growl that would make a Bengal Tiger proud Trouble is a brewin’ for the choleric who doesn’t learn to soften their facial expressions or communicate in a gentler and less prickly manner.

It doesn’t matter which personality you are, we all have natural strengths that can turn into weaknesses if we do not use them effectively. If you are a choleric personality, you offer great things to the world. You are the movers and shakers the rest of us need. Embrace who you are, but learn to recognize when your need to control and your intensity cross the line and repel people.

©Shona Neff

 

 

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This entry was posted on Friday, August 24th, 2012 at 7:44 pm and is filed under Personalities: Four-Part Series, Personality Stories - Choleric, The Personalities - Let's Learn!. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

 

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