Understanding the Sanguine/Melancholy Couple
Have you ever wondered what an enthusiastic, fun-loving girl sees in a quiet, meticulous man? Or what how a neat and tidy person tolerates someone who leaves total disarray in their wake? Understanding personalities sheds light on these often perplexing realities.
Why are so many people drawn to their exact opposite? Do you remember that famous line in the Tom Cruise movie, Jerry McGuire . . . “you complete me”? That is so true – we tend to be attracted to our opposites because they have what we don’t. The sanguine/melancholy couple is a great example of that premise.
The Sanguine
Sanguine personalities are enthusiastic and love people. Their creative and energetic nature can manifest itself with flamboyance, lots of projects, and a busy lifestyle filled with lots and lots of friends. They love to talk, tell jokes, and can tell an engaging story out of his/her quick trip to the grocery story. Life is one big, fun adventure for the sanguine.
The Melancholy
Melancholy people are the opposite of the sanguine personality. They are quiet and are refreshed by quiet surroundings. They are not opposed to people, but interacting with others drains their energy. Unlike the sanguine who never meets a stranger and makes a new best friend every day, melancholy personalities need to take time to get to know people. They WILL develop relationships and enjoy interacting with groups, but they need to feel comfortable before “letting loose”.
The Attraction
The attraction between opposite personalities usually isn’t a conscious decision, it just subtly happens. Sanguine people are drawn to the melancholy because melancholy personalities tend to provide a sense of stability often lacking in the sanguine person’s life. The melancholy is drawn to a sanguine because this personality is lively and fun. Both of these personalities tend to be creative and this often makes for a natural connection. Maybe they both play a musical instrument or sing? They may even connect over appearance. Both these personalities tend to care about their appearances. Sanguines love to shop and often have a flamboyant sytle. Melancholies like a neat and tidy appearance. This commonality often creates a connection where both parties enjoying shopping, a visit to the salon, or mulling over the perfect outfit to wear for a fun outing.
The Challenges
Once a sanguine is attracted to a melancholy and visa versa, the reality of their differences is certain to settle in. A sanguine decides that his or her beloved melancholy is boring. A smitten melancholy begins to wonder what he or she saw in that messy loud thing they call “sweetheart.” This is where understanding personalities comes in handy. Personalities can reaasure us that we really ARE with the right person . . . that they are not the enemy. They are just different.
A sanguine needs to remember that the melancholy “honey” needs peace and quiet. A melancholy, although attracted by the happy-go-lucky side of a sanguine, tends to view life from a more serious perspective. It helps if a sanguine can learn to back off and let his/her melancholy sweetie have his or her serious moments. Sanguines tend to see everything through rose-colored glasses, yet need to show a quiet sensitivity when necessary.
A melancholy needs to understand that a sanguine needs fun and lively activities to feel good. That means that the melancholy will need to dig deep to participate in some activities that may not necessarily appeal to his or her tastes, but will be sure to make a sanguine giddy. And, despite being very scheduled, a melancholy who shows spontaneity now and then, is sure to put a smile on the face and in the heart of the sanguine in their life.
It is natural to be drawn to our opposite personalities, but over time those differences often lose their allure and become annoying. Understanding personalities helps identify the natural roots of these differences and how to deal with them in a healthy way. Understanding your beloved’s personality can make the difference between perfect harmony or a love gone bad.
©2012 Shona Neff
Tags: couples, melancholy/snaguine couple, personality mechanic, shona neff
