Four Personalities, One Assumption to Live By – Part 1 Sanguine

I’m not sure if my “wisdom” in this area comes more from age, observation, and experience, or my study of personalities. Either way, both contributed to the musing I’m recording in black and white today. If you are having a fragile day emotionally, you may not want to go any further because this post is not full of fun revelations. Don’t get me wrong . . .  they are good, but most of the time, self-improvement is not easy on the ego for those who choose to engage it. But, if you are up for a challenge, I encourage you to read on.

The one assumption that I believe that all four personalities can live by is this:

Don’t assume everyone is interested in what you have to say.

That may sound harsh, but the mouth is a small part of the human body that can cause a lot of strife. As I pondered my  own struggle (a relatively new and painful realization), I discovered that there is an aspect of the busy part of the face that affects each of the four personalities. Understanding those aspects is a great benefit for those interested in pursuing the matter. So, let’s jump right in.

Breathe, Sanguine, Breathe!

In the personality world, sanguine personalities are affectionately known as “the talkers.” They are gifted conversationalists, wonderful story tellers, and can tell jokes like no others. However, as with all those strengths, the mouth can become weaknesses if taken to the extreme in this naturally loquacious personality.

Most of us have encountered someone who talks so much they make us tired. This manifests itself in a several different ways:

  • someone who talks so much, no one can get a word in. Many years ago I had such a friend. When we talked on the phone, I kid you not, I could literally lay the phone down for two minutes and she never knew I was gone. Breathe, sanguine, breathe! There was another lady I knew who lived down the street from me who was the same way, except when she caught you on the street, there was no two-minute escape available. Hapless neighborhood stood there glassy eyed until she informed that THEY needed to let HER go because she had things to do. Crazy. Needless to say, I did not always answer the phone when my friend called, and when neighbors saw the talkative lady coming, we all ran for cover.
  • someone who only talks about themselves. Many sanguine personalities are notorious in this area. This fun-loving personality loves to be the center of attention so it is easy for them to talk about themselves. Most of the time people don’t mind since sanguine people tend to be engaging speakers, but it does get old when they only want to talk about themselves and when they are done . . . conversation over. We’ve all been there in some form or another: a sanguine friend or family member talks and talks and talks about their life, travels, kids, job, and opinions, but never asks the other person anything about their life, travels, kids, job, and opinions. Few people enjoy being the silent half of a conversation.

If you are sanguine, do any of the above descriptions sound familiar? If so, it is not my intention to offend you, but sometimes when we take a long, hard look at ourselves, we find that there are places in need of improvement — more so than the other personalities, sanguine folk want approval and to feel accepted. When people avoid these overly-talkative friends or family members, it can hurt feelings since avoidance feels far from approval and acceptance.

Strategies

If you are an energetic sanguine, be mindful of your propensity to talk too much. There is no need to change who you are, but a little polishing never hurts. Before going into a 10-minute monologue, be sure that the people you are with want to hear it . . . don’t assume they are interested. In most cases they’ll let you know by asking questions.

When you find yourself in a group of people another good strategy is to let two or three other people speak before you contribute to the conversation. This helps prevent you from monopolizing the conversation if you struggle with that. Also, if you start talking about a subject and get interrupted, if no one asks you to continue, that’s a pretty good clue that people are not interested in what your were saying. Breathe.

Lastly, don’t forget to ask questions of those you are talking about. Someone does not have to be a sanguine to like to share. Choleric, melancholy, and phlegmatic people love to share about their children, jobs, and recent adventures. They may not share as much, but everyone feels good when people show an interest in what they are doing. When sanguine personalities can rein in their tendencies to be too talkative, they become the engaging individuals they are known for.

Join me in the next post that will explore how this assumption can benefit the choleric personality.

©2012 Shona Neff

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This entry was posted on Sunday, January 8th, 2012 at 8:34 pm and is filed under Personalities: Four-Part Series, Personality Stories - Sanguine, The Personalities - Let's Learn!, Word for the Day. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

 

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