I spend quite a bit of time thinking about melancholies. In fact, pondering the blends answered a question that has danced in my head for years . . . literally. But, before I explain that, let’s talk about why the melancholy/phlegmatic is a tricky blend.
Other than the little bit of melancholy blend my husband has, there aren’t many melancholies in my immediate family. My mother, who lives in another town, is this blend as are a few of my friends. So, because I don’t get to observe melancholy/phlegmatics on a daily basis, it takes me longer to understand them.
Some of the nicest people I know are this blend. When the sensitive nature of the melancholy meshes with the unobtrusive phlegmatic you get a genuinely kind person. They really care for others and make time to listen, anytime! They may not be most driven of personalities (due to the phlegmatic), but the melancholy side helps them accomplish things in life.
Blending the laid-back part of the phlegmatic with perfection-seeking melancholy is one of the things that make this blend “tricky”. Recently I was talking to a friend of this blend. She said that she constantly struggles with time: her laid-back phlegmatic side battles with her time-sensitive melancholy when she needs to be somewhere at a certain time.
From the outside looking in, I think that the relaxed nature of the phlegmatic does drive the high-standard character of the melancholy a little crazy. However, the opposite is also good: the relaxed nature of the phlegmatic helps tone down the perfection-seeking side of the melancholy.
Since this blend comprises both the introverted personalities, they are a natural blend. This means that they are often a 50/50 split between the two. From what I’ve learned talking to people of this blend, a 50/50 split does foster the inner struggle between being relaxed and achieving perfection. However, what really stands out to me about this blend is that the task-oriented melancholy inspires the phlegmatic side to accomplish things, and the phlegmatic helps the melancholy relax and enjoy life.
Now, I want to talk about that long-time question I’ve had about melancholy people. Over the years I’ve noticed that, despite being the most sensitive of all the personalities, they are not always outwardly sensitive to others; some are and some aren’t. Well, the blends finally answered that question for me. It seems to me (I don’t have any scientific data proving this) that whatever trait is second to melancholy is what determines the way the sensitive side is manifest.
When the secondary trait is phlegmatic, a melancholy exudes sensitivity. All the melancholy/phlegmatic people I know are sensitive to others because of the relational influence of the phlegmatic. However, when the secondary personality is choleric, the sensitivity is turned inward. The melancholy/choleric blend wants people to be sensitive to them, but they don’t show it as much to others. The task-oriented nature of both those personalities usually reigns supreme. They aren’t bad people, but they are wired to accomplish things . . . they often show their sensitive sides by doing for others.
I hope that, instead of confusing you with this tricky blend, I’ve given you a tool to understand others. Maybe it explains a few things about you. If you are this blend and have insights to share, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment.