Shona Neff

No one really wants to be “uptight” when “laid-back” carries a more positive message. However, in phlegmatic world sometimes being too laid-back leads to an appearance of indifference. This often has far-reaching effects in the calm waters that characterize the phlegmatic personality.

This personality is like a slow, trickling brook meandering through a quiet mountain forest. Phlegmatics have a natural ability to make others feel at ease just like a hiker who stumbles upon the peaceful waters of a hidden stream. Phlegmatic people are diplomatic, easy to get along with, and rarely create drama. They avoid conflict and tend to be quite happy melding with the desires of others.

This all sounds great, but sometimes the laid-back character of the phlegmatic morphs into indifference. (more…)

Most people know, in their hearts, that nobody is perfect, but there are some people who haven’t quite settled that thought in their heads. This often sets the sensitive, deep-feeling melancholy up for a disappointment.

Most people want their homes to look presentable. Many people, when entertaining others in their homes or preparing for holiday festivities, expect much more . . . they envision perfection. Not only do they want their homes to look like a magazine cover, but they expect their holiday celebrations to look like the meticulously arranged photo on a greeting card! Trouble is a brewin’ for all who step into the world of a melancholy who strives to achieve the idealistic, but not realistic, world of perfection. (more…)

Controlling. Bossy. Intense. Prickly.

Do those words describe anyone you know? Maybe they epitomize a family member or co-worker . . . a friend or neighbor. Are there people in your life that make you feel like you constantly walk on egg shells? Or do you avoid certain conversations because their reactions leave you feeling inadequate or unsettled? If you answered YES to any of those questions, you may be involved with a choleric personality. Choleric people that do not effectively control the intense parts of their personalities often repel people, and this can lead to estranged relationships.

As with the other personalities, trouble is a brewin’ when the choleric does not reign in their weaknesses. (more…)

Sandra dreaded the holidays . . . and she had reason. Her family expected her to throw a celebration fit for royalty. Christmas in Sandra’s world included decorating her place to rival Santa Claus’s house, cooking like Martha Stewart, and a limousine to shuttle out-of-town guests. Every year people expected more and more, and her yuletide budget had exploded to $10,000! But, Sandra knew that if she didn’t go to such extreme measures her family would be disappointed.

The above scenario is true and may sound crazy to many of you,  but if you are “people pleaser” maybe you can relate. (more…)

In this four-part series about gracious girlfriends, we’ve talked about sanguine, choleric, and melancholy friends. Today, it is time for the phlegmatic to be in the spotlight. This relaxed and inoffensive personality is the peaceful girlfriend. Although she is well-loved by just about everyone, this girlfriend has weaknesses.

Phlegmatic Traits

Unlike the other personalities, phlegmatic people usually don’t have traits that stand out. For example, a sanguine can overwhelm others with their exuberance, cholerics can be bossy and blunt, while melancholy friends can b moody and critical. Phlegmatics tend to be even keeled which usually means they don’t have any outlandish characteristics that bother others. Other nice traits of this personality include a diplomatic nature and a “go-with-the-flow” attitude. They are comfortable letting others take the lead in the relationship whether it means choosing activities or setting the tone for the overall relationship. (more…)

So far we’ve delved into the sanguine and choleric girlfriend. The “perfect” girlfriend (aka the “melancholy) is our spotlight today. This girlfriend tends to be the most sensitive of all the personality types. As with all the temperaments, she brings many wonderful traits to any friendship, but isn’t without her own set of challenges.

Melancholy Traits

Even before you get to know a melancholy friend she may appear stand-offish. This happens because they are natural introverts. All that means is that people and activity tend to drain them so they can be a little harder to get to know. However, once they feel comfortable around you they often display wonderful senses of humor and warmth. They tend to be more sensitive than the other personalities, but when they project onto others (instead of internalizing it), their warmth radiates to others. This personality tends to exhibit a high standard in everything they do . . . this often translates into manners and social etiquette. They aim at these things with the arrow of perfection. (more…)

In part 1 of this series we looked at the sanguine girlfriend. Today the choleric takes center stage. This personality makes a wonderful friend, but also poses some unique challenges. Understanding personalities will help you navigate the dynamic a choleric female brings to a friendship.

Choleric Traits

Male or female, this is the most intense of the four personality types. They tend to take things more seriously than most people and they take quick action when needed (and sometimes when not needed). They are goal-oriented extroverts which translates into a whirl of activity. A choleric girlfriend clothes herself with practicality, loyalty, and a small circle of close friends. She organizes “missions” for her and her friends to embark on, and is not afraid to offer plenty of suggestions/strategies how to accomplish activities/ideas that originate with others . Choleric girlfriends LOVE figuring out how to make things happen. They are fiercely loyal and expect the same from their friends. (more…)

Using personalities as a tool removes a lot of negative vibes in relationships because they helps us understand each other. This is very true when it comes to girlfriends. I’ve had friendships come and go over the years, but after becoming familiar with personalities, I feel that my more recent relationships are healthier. Today we are going to look at the sanguine girlfriend.

Sanguine Traits

Sanguine girls/women are bright and lively in just about everything they do. Popular is a word often used to describe these energetic people. Popularity comes naturally for personalities who love people, make friends easily, tell wonderful stories and jokes, and are great conversationalists. If you have spent any time with a sanguine then you know they are warm, engaging, charming, and make the world a happy place. They are great fun if they don’t wear you out with their high-energy and talkative tendencies. (more…)

Who in the workplace can be diplomatic, diligent, and sometimes lazy? It’s the phlegmatic.

What makes this personality soar or crash in the workplace is their ability to operate in their strengths. Let’s explore the interesting phenomenon that is a phlegmatic at work.

Diplomatic 

Phlegmatic people are natural diplomats. That stems from their dislike of conflict – they are the peacemakers. More so than the other three personality types, they are able to see the merit in opposite sides of a dispute. Their easy-going manner allows them to mediate well when two or more parties are tearing at each others throats. (more…)

Want a job done right? . . . who ya gonna call? A MELANCHOLY!

That’s right, the melancholy personality will get the job done right, and with attention to detail.

The Pursuit of Perfection

Anyone familiar with this temperament knows that they seek out perfection as if it was a buried treasure. They add a new dimension to the phrase “well done.” This is an employers dream. A melancholy on the job pays attention to detail and will polish a project until it shines bright. The one draw back to (more…)