Shona Neff

I recently had a conversation with a fellow middle-aged introvert . . . she recently had a revelation about dating. That, in turn, provided me a similar revelation. What I’m about to share has been something, that for years, neither she nor I understood about ourselves. We though we were just weird.

Her Story

In high school my friend moved around a lot, but landed in a high-school where she quickly caught the attention of the star athlete, and “big-man-on-campus”. He made it clear he was smitten with her, and she was quite taken with him. Not too long into their “boyfriend/girlfriend” days, he introduced her to his friends and shortly thereafter, he broke up with her. As a melancholy introvert, she didn’t understand and was deeply hurt . . . until recently when I posted the following on my Facebook page:

Introvert Problem #76 – People sometimes mistake you as an extrovert because you can be so outgoing

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Everyone LOVES a party . . . right? Well, not always. Some personalities would rather pass on the party scene full of people and enjoy a less chaotic celebration.

My family just celebrated a cluster of birthdays which provided a great example for this topic. Let’s start with my mother who just celebrated her 80th birthday. It was a nice celebration that provided me great insights into birthday party personalities.

My sister is sanguine and LOVES all sorts of gatherings, social events, and parties. She was instrumental in plotting and planning the festivities. That makes sense because sanguine personalities are made for fun . . . and planning fun is super FUN for them! Being spontaneous people, they consider the element of surprise a true spice of life. Sis suggested a SURPRISE party for Mom. However, our mom is melancholy and doesn’t do “unplanned” very well. I suggested to my sister (who lives out of state) that rather than too much surprise, that she, at the very least, let Mom know that she planned to visit around the time of the birthday and then surprise her with the party. That way, Mom could have a visit on her calendar which allowed Mom to plan ahead while still allowing for the surprise party. (more…)

Personalities and fashion? YES!…they go together like a hand and a glove. Did you know it is possible to identify someone’s personality by just taking a good look at them? Clothing can be a pretty big indicator.

In my last fashion post I just picked clothes that typified the personality look I was going for. However, this time, I chose a theme to show how differently each personality dresses for the same situation. I chose an afternoon out on the town as the backdrop for my choices….maybe lunch, followed by an afternoon at the museum, or shopping with a friend. Thanks to my “go-to” girl, Shilpa, and her associate, Brooke, who helped me find rockin’ styles from the Young Contemporary/Edge department from the Dillards located in the Winrock Center (Albuquerque, NM).

Sanguine

Here is me in the sanguine look. Bright, colorful, and FUN!  I really love this outfit, but as a phlegmatic personality you probably won’t see me frolicking around town in this. It’s a little TOO bright for me, but there are many sanguine women who would wear this outfit around town and feel quite comfortable. They are certain to turn heads in the eye-catching outfit . . . and that is just what a sanguine loves: to be noticed.

(Jacket and dress – Chelsea & Violet, Boots – Steve Madden (from the Dillards shoe department that I now own, yay,  Purse – from a very sanguine shelf in the Dillards accessory department.) (more…)

My last post splashed paint on a broad canvas that told the story of the outgoing and often boisterous extrovert. Today we are going to use a paintbrush to create a portrait of the introverts of the world. Extroverts tend to steal the spotlight on the world’s stage, but without introverts, there would be no show. So, let’s have a look at the #9 on the list of 10 Things You Need to Know About Personalities.

The melancholy and phlegmatic are the two introverted personalities. (more…)

After letting it sit around naked for a couple of days, I finally got around to decorating my poor bare tree. At least the factory attached lights kept it from total embarrassment. As I pulled out the decorations for the “fun” tree this year…the set of ornaments that includes ALL the goofy ornaments my two “twenty-something” boys picked in a yearly ritual when they were young…the parade of personalities that emerged from the boxes kept me entertained.

Sanguine

So, what spirited sanguine could resist THIS jolly, rotund man dressed in bright red sledding down a slope full of frozen fun! I must confess that my sanguine side fell in love with this crazy ornament when I was shopping for an ornament exchange last Christmas. I loved it so much I stole the sledding Santa during the exchange and came home with him. Shhh…don’t tell.

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Most people know, in their hearts, that nobody is perfect, but there are some people who haven’t quite settled that thought in their heads. This often sets the sensitive, deep-feeling melancholy up for a disappointment.

Most people want their homes to look presentable. Many people, when entertaining others in their homes or preparing for holiday festivities, expect much more . . . they envision perfection. Not only do they want their homes to look like a magazine cover, but they expect their holiday celebrations to look like the meticulously arranged photo on a greeting card! Trouble is a brewin’ for all who step into the world of a melancholy who strives to achieve the idealistic, but not realistic, world of perfection. (more…)

So far we’ve delved into the sanguine and choleric girlfriend. The “perfect” girlfriend (aka the “melancholy) is our spotlight today. This girlfriend tends to be the most sensitive of all the personality types. As with all the temperaments, she brings many wonderful traits to any friendship, but isn’t without her own set of challenges.

Melancholy Traits

Even before you get to know a melancholy friend she may appear stand-offish. This happens because they are natural introverts. All that means is that people and activity tend to drain them so they can be a little harder to get to know. However, once they feel comfortable around you they often display wonderful senses of humor and warmth. They tend to be more sensitive than the other personalities, but when they project onto others (instead of internalizing it), their warmth radiates to others. This personality tends to exhibit a high standard in everything they do . . . this often translates into manners and social etiquette. They aim at these things with the arrow of perfection. (more…)

Have you ever wondered what an enthusiastic, fun-loving girl sees in a quiet, meticulous man? Or what how a neat and tidy person tolerates someone who leaves total disarray in their wake? Understanding personalities sheds light on these often perplexing realities.

Why are so many people drawn to their exact opposite? Do you remember that famous line in the Tom Cruise movie, Jerry McGuire . . . “you complete me”? That is so true – we tend to be attracted to our opposites because they have what we don’t. The sanguine/melancholy couple is a great example of that premise. (more…)

I hope you enjoy my first EVER vlog (video blog). I’ve been wanting to present “stuffy” personalities for a long time, but it seemed to me that just writing such a post would not do the subject justice. SO . . . when I recently learned the steps of making a vlog, I knew the time was right for this long awaited topic.

As with most things there is room for improvement, and since I haven’t mastered the art of editing (actually, I have NO clue how to edit and I don’t really want to learn right now) there is ONE place I ask you to watch for so you are not confused. After I describe the SANGUINE stuffy, I move to the CHOLERIC. I accidentally use the term “sanguine” in two places when I meant to say “choleric”. Just be on the lookout and that won’t trip you up. And, I promise that after a long enough time of procrastinating (a personality trait in phlegmatic people like me) I will learn how to fix such boo-boos.

Enjoy!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ua9P3FXWLDM

©2012 Shona Neff

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but June is the month for weddings.

Personalities play a big part in the world of nuptials and, believe it or not, we tend to marry our opposite. We fall in love with all the strengths of our beloveds, but after the honeymoon we often discover we married their weaknesses. Personalities are a tool that help us understand the person we marry and today we are going to look at the different princes through the lens of personalities.

Prince Sanguine . . . the True Charmer

The sanguine hubby tends to be spontaneous, creative, and fun. This is evident in everyday life and life in the bedroom (or possibly other fun and funky locations.) They love whimsical activities and games and often have as many words as women that they need to speak in a given day. That’s why the sanguine personality is known as the talker. The sanguine prince uses all these traits to be truly charming. (more…)