Shona Neff

Once upon a time, a phlegmatic/sanguine and a choleric/melancholy planned a “Girls’ Day Out.”  Well, actually it was just last weekend and the phlegmatic/sanguine was me, and the choleric/melancholy was my friend, CM. Oh my, what a hilarious study of our two personality blends. I wish you all could have been “flies on the wall”, because it was quite entertaining. But I’ll do my best to fill you in on all the laughs.

The Planning

Getting a phlegmatic and choleric to take time for a social event can be daunting. Phlegmatics are procrastinators who are terrible about making plans – it is so much easier to stay home and just “be”. Combine that with a mission-minded choleric who wears several professional hats and is always marching along the path of practicality, and a day of girly fun rarely materializes between the two. Well, finally after 5 years of threatening (has it really been THAT long?…maybe just a year), CM and I got intentional and our day of shopping actually happened. (more…)

Everyone LOVES a party . . . right? Well, not always. Some personalities would rather pass on the party scene full of people and enjoy a less chaotic celebration.

My family just celebrated a cluster of birthdays which provided a great example for this topic. Let’s start with my mother who just celebrated her 80th birthday. It was a nice celebration that provided me great insights into birthday party personalities.

My sister is sanguine and LOVES all sorts of gatherings, social events, and parties. She was instrumental in plotting and planning the festivities. That makes sense because sanguine personalities are made for fun . . . and planning fun is super FUN for them! Being spontaneous people, they consider the element of surprise a true spice of life. Sis suggested a SURPRISE party for Mom. However, our mom is melancholy and doesn’t do “unplanned” very well. I suggested to my sister (who lives out of state) that rather than too much surprise, that she, at the very least, let Mom know that she planned to visit around the time of the birthday and then surprise her with the party. That way, Mom could have a visit on her calendar which allowed Mom to plan ahead while still allowing for the surprise party. (more…)

Personalities and fashion? YES!…they go together like a hand and a glove. Did you know it is possible to identify someone’s personality by just taking a good look at them? Clothing can be a pretty big indicator.

In my last fashion post I just picked clothes that typified the personality look I was going for. However, this time, I chose a theme to show how differently each personality dresses for the same situation. I chose an afternoon out on the town as the backdrop for my choices….maybe lunch, followed by an afternoon at the museum, or shopping with a friend. Thanks to my “go-to” girl, Shilpa, and her associate, Brooke, who helped me find rockin’ styles from the Young Contemporary/Edge department from the Dillards located in the Winrock Center (Albuquerque, NM).

Sanguine

Here is me in the sanguine look. Bright, colorful, and FUN!  I really love this outfit, but as a phlegmatic personality you probably won’t see me frolicking around town in this. It’s a little TOO bright for me, but there are many sanguine women who would wear this outfit around town and feel quite comfortable. They are certain to turn heads in the eye-catching outfit . . . and that is just what a sanguine loves: to be noticed.

(Jacket and dress – Chelsea & Violet, Boots – Steve Madden (from the Dillards shoe department that I now own, yay,  Purse – from a very sanguine shelf in the Dillards accessory department.) (more…)

Everyone wants to be an extrovert because the world tends to be made for these high-energy personalities…after all, aren’t they the ones that make the world go around? Aren’t they the “cool” people? Of the four personality types I deal with (sanguine, choleric, melancholy, and phlegmatic) the sanguine and choleric are the extroverts. So, what exactly IS an extrovert? We’ll explore that as we focus on #8 of of our list of 10 Things You Need to Know About Personalities.

Energized by People and Activity

Contrary to what many people think makes an extrovert such as outgoing, talkative, and full of energy, those traits are a manifestation of what extroverts are all about. They are energized by people and activities, and that, in turn, makes them outgoing, talkative, energetic, etc. Take, for example, a typical extrovert during a work week. They can work 40 hours in a week and be totally ready to have a quiet Friday evening. However, if something involving people (like a party) or a mission (someone needs furniture moved) pops up, they happily jump at the chance to DO something.

Being around people or accomplishing something recharges the sanguine and choleric extroverts battery. (more…)

After letting it sit around naked for a couple of days, I finally got around to decorating my poor bare tree. At least the factory attached lights kept it from total embarrassment. As I pulled out the decorations for the “fun” tree this year…the set of ornaments that includes ALL the goofy ornaments my two “twenty-something” boys picked in a yearly ritual when they were young…the parade of personalities that emerged from the boxes kept me entertained.

Sanguine

So, what spirited sanguine could resist THIS jolly, rotund man dressed in bright red sledding down a slope full of frozen fun! I must confess that my sanguine side fell in love with this crazy ornament when I was shopping for an ornament exchange last Christmas. I loved it so much I stole the sledding Santa during the exchange and came home with him. Shhh…don’t tell.

(more…)

Controlling. Bossy. Intense. Prickly.

Do those words describe anyone you know? Maybe they epitomize a family member or co-worker . . . a friend or neighbor. Are there people in your life that make you feel like you constantly walk on egg shells? Or do you avoid certain conversations because their reactions leave you feeling inadequate or unsettled? If you answered YES to any of those questions, you may be involved with a choleric personality. Choleric people that do not effectively control the intense parts of their personalities often repel people, and this can lead to estranged relationships.

As with the other personalities, trouble is a brewin’ when the choleric does not reign in their weaknesses. (more…)

In part 1 of this series we looked at the sanguine girlfriend. Today the choleric takes center stage. This personality makes a wonderful friend, but also poses some unique challenges. Understanding personalities will help you navigate the dynamic a choleric female brings to a friendship.

Choleric Traits

Male or female, this is the most intense of the four personality types. They tend to take things more seriously than most people and they take quick action when needed (and sometimes when not needed). They are goal-oriented extroverts which translates into a whirl of activity. A choleric girlfriend clothes herself with practicality, loyalty, and a small circle of close friends. She organizes “missions” for her and her friends to embark on, and is not afraid to offer plenty of suggestions/strategies how to accomplish activities/ideas that originate with others . Choleric girlfriends LOVE figuring out how to make things happen. They are fiercely loyal and expect the same from their friends. (more…)

My last post talked about the personality dynamics in the sanguine/melancholy couple. People tend to marry their opposite personality so today, we are going to explore the phlegmatic/choleric couple, and because this is the relationship I share with my husband, I have great insiders information into this relationship.

The Phlegmatic

Phlegmatic personalities, which includes me, tend to be easy going, unobtrusive, and low energy. They are the most diplomatic of the four personality types and avoid confrontation when possible. Due to their ability to blend in with their surroundings they are the easiest of all the temperaments to get overlooked. However, they are reliable, great listeners, and are always ready to lend a helping hand in their own quiet way. (more…)

I hope you enjoy my first EVER vlog (video blog). I’ve been wanting to present “stuffy” personalities for a long time, but it seemed to me that just writing such a post would not do the subject justice. SO . . . when I recently learned the steps of making a vlog, I knew the time was right for this long awaited topic.

As with most things there is room for improvement, and since I haven’t mastered the art of editing (actually, I have NO clue how to edit and I don’t really want to learn right now) there is ONE place I ask you to watch for so you are not confused. After I describe the SANGUINE stuffy, I move to the CHOLERIC. I accidentally use the term “sanguine” in two places when I meant to say “choleric”. Just be on the lookout and that won’t trip you up. And, I promise that after a long enough time of procrastinating (a personality trait in phlegmatic people like me) I will learn how to fix such boo-boos.

Enjoy!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ua9P3FXWLDM

©2012 Shona Neff

Valentine’s Day has come and gone, but June is the month for weddings.

Personalities play a big part in the world of nuptials and, believe it or not, we tend to marry our opposite. We fall in love with all the strengths of our beloveds, but after the honeymoon we often discover we married their weaknesses. Personalities are a tool that help us understand the person we marry and today we are going to look at the different princes through the lens of personalities.

Prince Sanguine . . . the True Charmer

The sanguine hubby tends to be spontaneous, creative, and fun. This is evident in everyday life and life in the bedroom (or possibly other fun and funky locations.) They love whimsical activities and games and often have as many words as women that they need to speak in a given day. That’s why the sanguine personality is known as the talker. The sanguine prince uses all these traits to be truly charming. (more…)