Open Letter: Still Waters Run Painfully Deep

melancholy letter enh

Dear You,

Yes, I realize that I can seem stand-offish and aloof, but please remember that appearances are often misleading. Don’t be fooled by my “still waters”…understand that they run deep. Painfully deep, at times.

Think about it this way: Whereas most people get fluttering butterflies in their stomachs when they get nervous, I have an entire flock of starlings darting all around my internal organs in a dance choreographed by anxiety. When others are happy, I’m overjoyed! And when other personality types merely get their feeling hurt, I’m devastated. My highs and lows may not always show externally, but they churn in an internal whirlpool with every beat of my heart. My still water flow deeply. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on March 1st, 2014 1 Comment

Open Letter: Throw Me a Bone

img_1868

Dear You,

Glue. Yeah, glue. That’s what I feel like. I’m not flashy like glitter that jazzes up a craft project. I’m not as purposeful as a sign announcing a coming event, and I’m certainly not awe inspiring like da Vinci’s Mona Lisa. But I’m the glue often used to hold such artwork together. It’s an important role, but I often go unnoticed. That’s how I feel. I don’t need or want the spotlight. I just need a pat on the back from time to time. In other words, “Throw me a bone.”

I’m made to be dependable. I’m the rock everyone seeks. I’ll carry the weight of the world on my shoulders like Atlas. I’m made for that role, but it gets hard when I don’t stand out enough for people to notice. When troubles come a callin’, that’s when people come a callin’ on dependable, diplomatic me, but then they fade away as quickly as they came until the next time a need arises. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on October 28th, 2013 5 Comments

Open Letter: I Really Do Have a Heart

img_1831

Dear You,

Ok, it may be wrapped in barbed-wire, but I really do have a heart. I promise!

I care deeply about things, but dang, everywhere I look I see things that need to be done. Especially when I’m around the house. This bed needs to be made, the lawn needs to be mowed, electrical wiring needs to be redone, or a bicycle tire needs patching. What am I suppose to do? I’m sorry, but relaxing doesn’t come easily. And the relationship thing? I try, but I’m more of a doer. It’s hard to set my keen eye for “doing” aside. Most of what I do is motivated by those I love . . . that’s how I show how much I care. My heart does beat even though you probably think I’m heartless at times. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on October 17th, 2013 5 Comments

Open Letter: Life Ain’t All Fun and Games

img_1826

Dear You,

For as much as I like fun…I’ve discovered that life ain’t all fun and games, a laugh a minute, or a bowl full of cherries.

That’s hard to take sometimes because I love love love fun things. I want to taste, feel, and experience all the world has to offer. I’m ready to go at a moments notice. I like good times, but don’t let my “happy-go-lucky” exterior fool you:  sometimes my insecure heart gets the best of me.

You ask, “How can that be? You have so many friends. You are the life of the party. Everyone secretly wants to be like you! Popular, fun, carefree”

Well, some days I am reminded that life ain’t all fun and games. I hate those days, those moments, when my insecurities flare with the intensity of a firecracker. You may not recognize my insecurities because they don’t keep me home. They don’t keep from seeking the company of people…lot’s of people. But, oh, they are there. Painfully present, yet hidden beneath my smile. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on October 15th, 2013 7 Comments

Surviving the Unmotivated Phlegmatic in Your Life

Lazy. Indifferent. Distant.

img_1824

Can you relate? Does someone in your life display these unmotivated traits? Well, you are probably encountering a phlegmatic. From my observations and talking to people, I think this could possibly be the most misunderstood personality type because they are sneaky. If you’ve been following this series you will understand it when I say that the other three personality types have more identifiable traits we must contend with.

The sanguine = living an “over-the-top” lifestyle when it comes to appearance, style, and actions (talking, attention seeking.)

The choleric = controlling things around them and always doing (intensity)

The melancholy = perfectionist, critical, and super-sensitive (moody) Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on October 14th, 2013 3 Comments

Surviving the Perfectionistic Melancholy in Your Life

Perfectionist. Critical. Ideological. Super-sensitive.

Does this describe someone close to you? Perhaps it’s someone you encounter at work, church, or neighborhood. Maybe it is a loved one or best friend? No matter in what capacity you cross paths with a melancholy, it can be quite an experience.

surviving 2

Perfectionist

Perfectionism taken to the extreme can be a very negative influence that spews from the person onto everyone within “spewing” distance. Wanting things to be perfect isn’t a bad thing, but when it takes over one’s very existence it becomes a problem. Therein lies the challenge with the melancholy. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on October 7th, 2013 No Comments

Surviving the Intense Choleric in Your Life

Intense, overly-practical, and detached. Ever experience these things?

If you answer in the affirmative, chances are good that there is a choleric in your life. This isn’t at bad thing, but it can be frustrating if you don’t understand this intense person. So, what are some tools you can use to survive this personality at work, school, church, or home? Let’s dive in.

choleric enhanced

Intense

Intensity is one way to recognize the choleric. They often have a scowl and knit eye-brows because their mind is always contemplating their next mission. That intensity isn’t confined to their facial expression . . . it can permeate a room! It’s almost like they bring and unseen presence of barbed wire with them wherever they go. This is especially true if they have had a bad day or are working through a big project. Completing a mission consumes them. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on September 12th, 2013 2 Comments

Surviving the Over-the-Top Sanguine in Your Life

TMI (too much information). No follow through. Big talk, little action. Serenity NOW!

Do those descriptors ring familiar? A friend, family member, or perhaps an annoying co-worker? Count yourself blessed if these are not a part of your everyday existence. However, if you are frustrated on a daily basis by anything on that list, take heart . . . you just need to understand the sanguine in your life. Understanding leads to surviving.

sanguine 2

If you are sanguine reading this, please don’t be offended, maybe there is something here for you to learn. First, may I say that sanguine personalities are delightful and they light up a often gloomy world. However, to varying degrees, many sanguines will operate in a weaknesses, thus providing challenges to those who know them best. Let’s take a look and see if we can help survive when this personality goes “over-the-top”. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on August 22nd, 2013 6 Comments

Spiritual Personalities, Part 4 – Phlegmatic

Of all the personality types, the “whatever goes” phlegmatic probably is the one who has the easiest time embracing God and Christianity. Being the personality that most seeks peace, the peace offered by faith in Jesus Christ fits well in this easy-going person’s life.

Girl and Umbrella

View of God

God is a place of rest and comfort for all who choose a life in Him. This appeals to, and even beckons the phlegmatic. This personality avoids chaos and that is what the Christian life is all about. The Christian lifestyle doesn’t take the chaos out of life, but it does helps one find a supernatural rest when mayhem finds the phlegmatic. Additionally, phlegmatic personalities aren’t all about action/adventure like their more extroverted sanguine and choleric counterparts, so they are drawn to the peaceful aspects of God and Jesus (the Prince of Peace.)

John 14:27 is like a soothing bubble bath to the phlegmatic soul, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you.” Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on August 19th, 2013 No Comments

Spiritual Personalities, Part 3 – Melancholy

When it comes to Christianity, the melancholy needs to avoid turning his/her spirituality into a journey of perfection. When perfection becomes the goal, a relationship with Jesus unwittingly turns into legalism. However, when the proper balance between God’s perfect standard and relationship is found, the melancholy is a beautiful example of a true seeker of God and His ways.

perfection is my enemy

View of God

As a consummate seeker of perfection the melancholy is naturally drawn to Bible verses such as Matthew 5:48, “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (NKJV). Out of all four personality types the melancholy is the most likely to do things properly. They are organized, meticulous with details, orderly in everything they do, and very disciplined. They expect a lot of themselves and they tend to approach Christianity in much the way . . . organized, meticulous, orderly, and very disciplined. Read the rest of this entry »

Posted by on August 18th, 2013 No Comments